Domestic Violence is...

hitting
    slapping
        pushing
            shoving
                yelling
                    name-calling
                        humiliating
                            threatening
                                isolation
                                    forced sex
                                        harassing
                                            controlling
                                                demeaning
                                                    terrorizing 

IT IS ALSO A CHOICE. 

What is Domestic Violence?

*Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors that one intimate partner exerts over another as a means of control. Some of these behaviors include physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as verbal abuse and economic deprivation.

*Domestic violence is NOT limited to married couples but includes cohabitants, lovers, former partners, parents, and children.

*Domestic violence is not limited to heterosexuals but is also found in same sex relationships.

*Domestic violence is a pattern of purposeful behavior, directed at achieving compliance from, or control over, another person.

*Domestic violence is not exclusive to any class, race, religion, or educational level.

*Domestic violence is supported and held in place by social beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and institutions.

*Domestic violence is a LEARNED behavior.

*Domestic violence may be influenced by drugs, alcohol, stress, psychopathology, and situational factors, but these factors are not the cause of abuse. Domestic violence is a CHOICE made by the abuser.

*Domestic violence is not a relationship problem. IT IS A CRIME!

*Current statistics indicate that in half of all relationships, at least one episode of violence occurs, and that for many, it continues in a regular cycle. The victims of domestic violence, most often women, generally view the societal obstacles as insurmountable and their alternatives as few.


Some effects children may experience after witnessing their mothers being abused:

*Children think they are responsible.

*They feel anxious that at any moment the violence will happen again.

*They fear being abused or abandoned themselves.

*They are ambivalent about one or both parents; they both hate and love the battered and the batterer.

*They are ashamed that the violence is happening.

*They have feelings of detachment, psychic numbing, and constricted emotions.

*They cling to their mothers and need excessive attention.

*They are afraid to go to school and leave mom alone; they fall behind in their school work.

*They become isolated; they are afraid to have friends for fear the friends will find out about the abuse.

*Adolescents (and younger children) may abuse alcohol or drugs.

*They may develop hearing, speech or learning disabilities.

*They may act out with parents, siblings, peers, or teachers.

*They may feel inhibited, be hypervigilant and phobic, and have nightmares.

*They may have emotional and behavioral problems.

*They may have symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

*They may show more distress than the average child.

*They may present more child adjustment problems.

*They may have phycal symptoms: bedwetting, headaches, stomach aches, nail biting, catch colds and flu more easily, etc.

Domestic Violence Statistics:

* Every 9 seconds a woman is battered in the United States.

* Eleven women die every day because of domestic violence.

* Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the U.S.

* In 95% of all domestic violence assaults, crimes are committed by men against women.

* The FBI estimates that only one in ten incidents of family violence is ever reported to law enforcement.

* One in 3 women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during their lifetime.

* Battering accounts for 1/3 of all emergency room visits by women in the U.S.

* Approximately 1 in 5 homicides involves domestic violence. Of these, almost 9% were murders of a spouse, 6% were murders of sons or daughters by a parent, and 7% were murdered by other family members.

* At least 25% of domestic violence victims are pregnant when battered.

* Domestic violence is statistically consistent across racial and ethnic boundaries.

* Forty-four to 75% of men who abuse their intimate partners also abuse their children.

*Children under 13 were 23% of murder victims killed by a family member in 2002. The average age among children killed by a parent was 7 years, and 4 out of 5 victims killed by a parent were under age 13 (Bureau of Justice Family Violence Statistics, 2005).

* Victims who leave their batterers are at a 75% greater risk of being killed by the batterer than those who stay.

* A battered victim may leave his/her abuser 12 to 16 times before the relationship is finally ended.

* There are nearly three times as many animal shelters in the U.S. as there are shelters for women and their children.

* Abusive partners harass 74% of battered victims.

* Twenty percent of all battered women are over the age of 60.

* 68 to 90% of children are aware that domestic violence is happening in their home.

* Forty-eight percent of homeless women and children in Oregon are fleeing from domestic violence.

Domestic Violence Quiz:

1.) What is the greatest risk factor for being a victim of domestic violence?
A. Poverty
B. Race
C. Less Education
D. Gender

2.) Every _____ seconds, a woman is physically beaten in the United States.
A. 9-12
B. 15-17
C. 18-20
D. 30-32

3.) When is a victim in the most danger of being killed?
A. When the batterer is drinking
B. If s/he fights back
C. When attempting to leave a relationship

4.) What are the red flags of domestic violence?
A. Jealousy
B. Control
C. Isolation
D. Emotional Abuse
E. All of the Above

5.) Which facilities are there more of in communities?
A. Homeless shelters
B. Women's shelters
C. Animal shelters

6.) Domestic Violence is caused by:
A. Witnessing childhood abuse
B. Alcohol and/or drugs
C. a personal choice to be violent
D. Anger
E. All of the above

7.) Children living in domestic violence are at a higher risk for:
A. Juvenile problems, such as running away, teen pregnancy, and alcohol/drug addiction
B. Developmental delay and learning disabilities
C. Increased physical complaints
D. Caretaking of siblings
E. All of the above

8.) It is a felony for a child to witness domestic violence in the home.
True___ False___

9.) The single major cause of injury to women in the United States between the ages of 15 and 44 is:
A. Auto accidents
B. Cancer
C. Battering
D. Mugging

10.) What do victims of domestic violence need most?
A. A safe place to stay to escape abuse
B. Someone who listens, believes, and does not blame the victim
C. A community that does not tolerate domestic violence
D. All of the above

11.) The typical batterer is unemployed, an alcoholic, and needs anger management counseling.
True___
False___

12.) When the police arrive at the scene of domestic violence, they only have to make an arrest if children are present.
True___
False___

13.) Children witnessing domestic violence are more likely to feel:
A. Anger at mom for leaving the relationship
B. Guilty for not protecting mom
C. Resentment towards mom and see her as weak
D. Anger at mom for staying in the relationship
E. All of the above

14.) An abusive relationship is characterized by nonstop violence.
True___
False___

15.) Most abuse is premeditated (planned).
True___
False___

16.) Abuse stops during pregnancy.
True___
False___

17.) If you are in an abusive relationship and want to get out, you can just break up with the person.
True___
False___



Answer Key:
1.) D
2.) A
3.) C
4.) E
5.) C
6.) C
7.) E
8.) T
9.) C
10.) D
11.) F
12.) F
13.) E
14.) F
15.) T
16.) F
17.) F

The graphic was from a woman who runs the following forum for Domestic Violence Survivors.
Click the link to visit the forum:

http://s1.zetaboards.com/Healing_Wounds/index